Cheaters Blog

Who Has Affairs And Why

5/8/12

Who Has Affairs?

There have been many surveys conducted asking people their thoughts on monogamy. Every survey has always come up with similar conclusions: People think monogamy is important to marriage and infidelity is wrong.

The point of this is that no one is immune from affairs. People who think that they will never ever cheat in their lifetime, may end up cheating. Most people don’t intend to have an affair and don’t think it will happen to them- but for many, it does.

Why Do People Have Affairs?

When people learn of their partner’s infidelity, the first question that is usually asked is “Why?” They tend to blame themselves, their partner, their relationship, or the other person involved. They see it as a personal failure of the people involved. However, there is a very simple explanation to this question.

There are three different factors that are working together:

1. Forces that pull the individual towards the affair.
2. Forces that push the individual towards the affair.
3. Society

Forces that pull the individual towards the affair include:

-Attraction: sex, companionship, admiration, power
-Novelty
-Excitement, risk or challenge
-Curiosity
-Enhanced self-image
-Falling in love

Forces that push the individual towards the affair include:

-Desire to escape or find relief from a painful relationship
-Boredom
-Desire to fill gaps in an existing relationship
-Desire to punish one’s partner
-Need to prove one’s attractiveness or worth
-Desire for attention

Society:

Unfortunately, affairs are glamorized in all types of entertainment, whether it be the movies, television, novels, or music. Public figures are constantly being caught in affairs. There are (more than) half-naked images of women in many advertising and marketing campaigns, which sends the message to men that living the good life means having a parade of sexy women in their lives. As teenagers, we are conditioned to deceive our parents about our sexual activity. This in turn affects our adult lives. There are a number of reasons as to how societal factors affect people’s relationships.

MAIN POINT: There is no one single reason why people have affairs. It’s a combination of forces that pull the individual towards the affair, forces that push the individual towards the affair and an influence of society that lead an individual to having an affair.

XO,
Allie



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Is It Chatting or Cheating? How To Tell If It’s More Than Just Innocent Communication

4/25/12

Email, social media and texting have made it easier than ever to connect with others. But for people in marriages and committed relationships, a conversation that starts off as innocent communication can easily turn into flirting or emotional cheating (and yes, it is possible to cheat without ever having sex!).

Where is the line drawn between innocent chatting and harmful cheating? Check out an interview below with Malia Karlinsky, GalTime and Sheri Meyers, Psy.D, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist:

GalTime: What is “Emotional Sex?”

Sheri Meyers Psy.D: Emotional sex is an affair of the heart that feels the same as romantic love and can manifest itself in numerous ways-physically, romantically, emotionally, lustfully, verbally, or virtually. Once emotional sex kicks in, fantasy takes over. The brain chemicals activated in emotional sex create the illusion that a “perfect love” exists and “destiny” is knocking. Emotional sex is an insidious form of infidelity that frequently occurs between two people who at first call themselves ‘just friends.’

GT: Who is more likely to get involved in this type of relationship?

SM: Women tend to have emotional affairs. Men tend to have physical and cyber affairs. Having an affair is usually a symptom of an underlying problem in the relationship. Often we feel like something is missing and we may consciously or unconsciously seek that something in someone else.

GT: How do these situations start? When does it cross the line between chatting and cheating?

SM: Emotional sex usually starts innocently. You become Friends with the sexy co-worker and decide to carpool to work together, or you reunite with an ex on Facebook and start to share stories and photos from the past. You know you’re crossing the line when…

SIGNS CHATTING IS BECOMING CHEATING:

– You start sharing more about yourself with your friend than your partner.
– You prefer talking to your ‘friend’ over your primary partner.
– You check for messages CONSTANTLY.
– You think about him or her more than your partner or your kids.
– Thoughts of your friend bring relief and an instant high.

Read More

XO,
Allie



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Friday the 13th Makes People Want To Cheat

4/13/12

Adultery website Ashley Madison has revealed a surprising fact about this “unlucky” day. Friday the 13th is one of the busiest days for users chatting on the website. Looking at data from 2009 to present, chat usage triples on Friday the 13ths.

“Year after year our team of analysts prove that this ‘unlucky’ day does not stop but rather seems to excite and encourage people to throw caution to the wind,” says Noel Biderman, CEO of the website.

“Affair-seekers are predominately more risk-taking as a whole, so Friday the 13th does not scare them one bit. In fact, we specifically find the biggest increase in chats on this day amongst the married men seeking an affair with a single lady.”

Well, ladies and gents, if you suspect your partner is cheating on you, today might be the day to catch them! Good luck, fellow snoopers!

XO,
Allie



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Top Ten Cars Cheaters Drive

4/13/12

Adulterer website AshleyMadison.com recently conducted an unscientific survey on the cars that cheating spouses drive. Surprisingly, high dollar cars don’t top the list! Toyotas are the most popular brand among male cheaters while Hondas top the list for female cheaters. Check out the full list of the top ten cars cheaters drive below!

Men

1. Toyota (20.9%)
2. Ford (12.3%)
3. Chevy (10.2%)
4. Honda (7.1%)
5. BMW (6.4%)
6. Dodge (5.8%)
7. Nissan (4.8%)
8. Jeep (4.8%)
9. GMC (3.2%)
10. Mercedes (2.9%)

Women

1. Honda (22.3%)
2. Ford (13.4%)
3. Toyota (10.3%)
4. Chevy (7.3%)
5. Mercedes (6.6%)
6. Nissan (5.6%)
7. Chrysler (4.3%)
8. Dodge (4.2%)
9. BMW (3.9%)
10. Volkswagen (2.8%)

Are you surprised that there aren’t more luxury cars topping the list? I guess this just further proves that people from all classes cheat!

XO,
Allie



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LGBT Community Cheating Statistics

4/10/12

CheaterVille.com, a website where people can publicly post a cheater, randomly sampled the last three months’ worth of postings submitted to their website online through their LGBT feature. They found some interesting statistics about the LGBT community!

• 70% of alleged cheaters posted through the LBGT feature on CheaterVille are males who have cheated on their male partners. In comparison, 81% of alleged cheaters posted in the straight community are women.

• With respect to cheating females posted through the LGBT feature, Los Angeles was rated the number one spot, while New York City, Toronto and Chicago came in a close second, third and fourth respectively.

• With respect to cheating males posted through the LGBT feature, New York City was rated the number one spot, while San Francisco, Montreal and Los Angeles came in second, third and fourth respectively.

• 39% of the victims who posted about an alleged cheating incident within the LGBT community indicated that they met the cheater on Craigslist, Grindr and/or Plenty Of Fish in comparison to the 35% of victims who met the cheater at a local bar/nightclub.

• 19% of alleged cheaters posted through the LGBT feature on CheaterVille are males who have cheated on their wife with another male, while 14% are females who have cheated on their husband with another female.

• The average age of an alleged cheater in the LGBT community is 28, and the majority are Geminis.

XO,
Allie



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