Tips for Protecting Your Marriage From Infidelity
The path to infidelity is a slippery slope. Affairs will happen even in so-called “happy” marriages. Nobody is immune to infidelity because we are all human and humans are unpredictable. Even people who claim that they would never cheat on their spouse sometimes end up being a cheater in their marriage.
Read the tips below for more information on how to create a safe and agreeable boundary in your marriage from infidelity. Affairs can often times be prevented by taking proactive steps to make sure that both partners are (reasonably) happy in their marriage or relationship. Creating this boundary requires open communication between both partners with a mutual respect and understanding for each others’ personal thoughts on relationship boundaries and moral values.
Tip 1: Maintain Appropriate Boundaries in Your Marriage and With Those Outside Your Relationship
Setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries inside and outside of your marriage is important. To achieve this, you and your partner need to openly communicate with each other about what types of behaviors or actions are inappropriate for your marriage. Is flirtatious talk with others okay but a kiss is crossing the line? Are you okay with your spouse or partner texting flirtatiously as long as the relationship (with the person he/she is messaging) never gets physical?
As to what is acceptable for your relationship is completely up to you but it is important to reach a common ground as to what is appropriate behavior for you and your partner when dealing with outsiders, especially if you are in a committed long-term relationship or marriage (i.e. you want to keep him/her around for a long time, if not a lifetime). An open line of communication about these harder topics not only helps grow your relationship for the better but it also helps put both partners at ease and makes both partners better equipped to handle all of life’s other stressors.
Tip 2: Be Conscientious of Relationships with Coworkers That Push Boundaries
The workplace is the top place where affairs start. This is why it is so important that both partners set and communicate appropriate boundaries with coworkers to ensure that infidelity is never an option that arises. For example, don’t eat lunch alone with the same coworker every single day, if avoidable (i.e. there are more than 2 employees at the workplace). Find some others colleagues to join you or change up the scenery and go somewhere new with other coworkers.
If you have to travel for business, first and foremost, try to stay out of the hotel bar. Make sure to schedule meetings in public places and not a hotel room with a bed.
As a general rule of thumb, if you would be uncomfortable or unhappy knowing that your spouse or partner was engaging in your type of behavior, you probably should not be doing it either. Keep this in mind when sharing details about your life as well (more details in next tip).
Tip 3: Don’t Share Intimate Information with an Attractive Alternative(s)
It can be easy to start discussing and/or complaining about the issues you and your spouse are having to anyone who lends a sympathetic ear but beware, this is a mistake. When you start sharing intimate details about your marriage with an outsider, this can quickly form an intimate bond between you and the outsider (even if you were only trying to vent). This may start out innocently with you seeking advice from the other person but this can quickly lead to shared emotional intimacy and eventually (and often times) an emotional and/or physical affair.
It is always best to discuss any and all intimate details about your marriage or relationship with your spouse and your spouse only. If you and your spouse want to have a successful marriage, you two need to be able to discuss problems and issues with each other in a productive manner. Other people cannot fully understand the intricate and intimate dynamic between you and your spouse. Although an outsider’s advice may seem great at the time, it is never a full view of what is really going on in the marriage. An outsider’s advice will always be based on a limited view of the entire situation.
You cannot solve a problem with your spouse or partner by complaining about it with someone else; the problem will only be resolved by discussing it with your spouse and coming to a mutual agreement or understanding (even if your opinions still differ at the end of the discussion). You can respect someone else’s ideas and thoughts, even if you do not fully agree with them. It is important for couples to learn how to communicate with each other for both the fun topics and difficult situations.
Tip 4: Establish a United + Transparent Front on Social Media + Other Forms of Communication
It is good to establish social media transparency in your marriage by allowing your partner to have access to your social media accounts. Secrecy and lies, especially concerning social media “friends,” can be a cause of great grief in a marriage or relationship so to prevent this from happening, create transparency with your spouse. Spouses who object heavily to transparency probably have something to hide on their social media accounts. Again, if you would not want your partner communicating the way you do with your social media “friends,” it is time to rethink how you communicate with them.
Tip 5: Surround Your Marriage With Positive Influences
It is a great thing to surround yourself and your partner with positive marriage influences. Having a close group of (happily) married friends helps protect your own marriage from infidelity and will give you and your partner great examples of how to have a happy marriage and the joy a happy marriage can bring to one’s life. While it is important for spouses to have individual friends outside of the marriage, it is also equally important to have shared friends and it is even better if the shared friends are other happily married spouses.