Who Has Affairs And Why

5/8/12

Who Has Affairs?

There have been many surveys conducted asking people their thoughts on monogamy. Every survey has always come up with similar conclusions: People think monogamy is important to marriage and infidelity is wrong.

The point of this is that no one is immune from affairs. People who think that they will never ever cheat in their lifetime, may end up cheating. Most people don’t intend to have an affair and don’t think it will happen to them- but for many, it does.

Why Do People Have Affairs?

When people learn of their partner’s infidelity, the first question that is usually asked is “Why?” They tend to blame themselves, their partner, their relationship, or the other person involved. They see it as a personal failure of the people involved. However, there is a very simple explanation to this question.

There are three different factors that are working together:

1. Forces that pull the individual towards the affair.
2. Forces that push the individual towards the affair.
3. Society

Forces that pull the individual towards the affair include:

-Attraction: sex, companionship, admiration, power
-Novelty
-Excitement, risk or challenge
-Curiosity
-Enhanced self-image
-Falling in love

Forces that push the individual towards the affair include:

-Desire to escape or find relief from a painful relationship
-Boredom
-Desire to fill gaps in an existing relationship
-Desire to punish one’s partner
-Need to prove one’s attractiveness or worth
-Desire for attention

Society:

Unfortunately, affairs are glamorized in all types of entertainment, whether it be the movies, television, novels, or music. Public figures are constantly being caught in affairs. There are (more than) half-naked images of women in many advertising and marketing campaigns, which sends the message to men that living the good life means having a parade of sexy women in their lives. As teenagers, we are conditioned to deceive our parents about our sexual activity. This in turn affects our adult lives. There are a number of reasons as to how societal factors affect people’s relationships.

MAIN POINT: There is no one single reason why people have affairs. It’s a combination of forces that pull the individual towards the affair, forces that push the individual towards the affair and an influence of society that lead an individual to having an affair.

XO,
Allie



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