Nagging: The Marriage Killer

2/1/12

Nagging: The interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request and the other person repeatedly ignores it with both becoming increasingly annoyed.

Nagging is an issue EVERY couple has to deal with. Experts say that nagging is exactly the type of toxic communication that could eventually lead to a divorce or breakup.

According to psychologist, Dr. Scott Wetzler, we nag because “We have a perception that we won’t get what we want from the other person, so we feel we need to keep asking in order to get it.”

Nagging is a vicious circle. The naggee gets tired of the nagging and starts to refrain from doing what the nagger tells them to do and that in turn makes the nagger nag some more! In other words, nagging leads to more nagging and eventually 2 disgruntled partners and that is a bad dynamic for a marriage or relationship.

Nagging can become a prime divorce contributor when couples begin fighting about the nagging versus discussing the issue at the root of the nagging, according to Howard Markman, professor of psychology at University of Denver and co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies. While all couples will inevitably deal with nagging in the relationship, those who can learn to stop the negative communication, have substantially larger probabilities of staying together and keeping the love alive.

You can learn to stop nagging! The first step is to admit to yourself that you’re doing it. We’re all guilty of nagging at some point in time. Learn to communicate better and all of the relationships in your life will be positively affected. Stay tuned for tips on how to stop nagging!

XO,
Allie

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