My Man Is Addicted To Texting Other Women

12/15/11

Dear Allie,

I have been dating a man for about one and a half years. Things were going great. I moved in about ten months ago. I love him so much. I know he loves me too. But, he has an addiction. The addiction is text. He is texting other women. He constantly says that they are friends. Or he changes the subject. He has constantly avoided the conversation and denies it all. When I bring it up, he tells me he loves me but has never admitted to doing it. He has come home three different times with scratch marks on his back. He has said it is just dry skin. He says he loves me and wants a life with me, but my accusations are getting to him and he can’t take it anymore.

Lately, I have been accusing him more of it. He has said I am crazy and need help. He says he just wants one time where he can walk out the door and not be accused of anything. He also says that I have a GPS on him and that I do not give him his space. I am so confused and don’t know what to think. On one hand, maybe they are just friends. But, do you tell friends that you love them and accept inappropriate pictures of them?

I don’t know what to do or to think. The thought of coming up here for nothing, leaving my friends and family for nothing, makes me sick. I have put up with a lot in my life. But I can’t put up with another cheater again. Do I believe him? Do I give up on everything that I have worked on for something that maybe he is telling the truth on? I just don’t know what to do!!

ALLIE’S ANSWER

I feel that sometimes we are so blinded by our love for a person that we start to lose sense of reality in fear of losing that person. I absolutely do not doubt that you two love each other but point blank, your man is cheating on you. He is texting other women! That’s cheating! The real question is: What is he doing behind your back that you aren’t aware of?

He has scratch marks on his back, accuses you of having a GPS tracker on him, gets inappropriate texts and pictures from other women, and tells you that YOU’RE crazy because you suspect something fishy is going on. These are telltale signs of a cheating partner. Of course you are going to suspect something fishy is going on! He has all of the signs of fishy behavior!

A woman’s intuition is very strong. The reason you’re accusing him of cheating more than usual is because you KNOW he’s doing inappropriate things with other women and not being truthful with you. Friends don’t text each other inappropriate pictures but secret lovers will.

Cheaters will deny, deny, deny, even when they are caught red-handed! Don’t believe his lies. I know how hard it can be to walk away from a relationship you’ve invested so much time and energy into but the sooner you walk away, the sooner you can move on with your life. You deserve a man who will appreciate you.

XO,
Allie

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