My Husband Is Constantly Calling and Texting Other Girls

Dear Allie,

My husband and I have been married for a little over 4 months and things have been kind of shaky. He has cheated on me in the past and I took him back every time.

We have a 15-month-old son and I would like very much for us to be a happy family. But he has been calling and texting females from his job when I’m not around. He calls them as soon as I get out of the car to go to work. He says nothing is going on and they are just friends but they talk all the time and this is exactly how things started with the previous two girls. We both work at the same place and the girls he’s talking to always give me dirty looks when they see me.

I don’t know what to do because I love him so much and I want things to work out. I turned my back on friends and family who tried to tell me to leave him and I don’t want to look stupid again. I have confronted him and every time, he gets mad and tells me that I’m living in the past and asks why I can’t see that he’s changed. He says he wouldn’t have married me if he wanted to be messing with other girls. But the last time he cheated on me, we were engaged to be married. And after I found out, he called it off. I have really bad trust issues with him as you can imagine but I love him and want things to work. So I guess my question is, do you think I have something to be worried about? Or am I just being overly sensitive because he’s hurt me before?

ALLIE’S ANSWER:

You have every right to be worried. His behavior is 100% suspicious! If he is having to wait to call or text these female “friends” until after he’s dropped you off, he is definitely doing things he doesn’t want you to know.

A cheater is going to deny, deny, deny. They will come up with every excuse in the book to “prove” to you that they are not cheating.

If he’s cheated on you multiple times in the past, he is certainly capable of cheating on you again. He doesn’t seem to have much remorse for his past indiscretions. It is one thing to make a one-time mistake and learn from it. It is a much different story to continuously make the same bad choices over and over. That is what I call a habit… and habits are hard to change.

It is very difficult for me to say that you should leave your husband because you have a 15-month-old son involved. However, parents that are together but constantly unhappy are not a great environment for a child either, especially if there is constant upheaval from your husband’s suspicious behavior. The two of you fighting all the time is a far worse environment than 2 single and happy parents. You deserve to be happy.  Best of luck to you and your son.

XO,
Allie



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