How To Stop Nagging

2/2/12

As I promised yesterday, here are some tips on how to stop nagging your partner!

• Calm Down (that includes your partner). Awareness is always the first step in stopping a bad habit. Be aware of the pattern you are in and communicate with your partner as to how you both can address the issues at hand as a team. It will probably be helpful to set some ground rules for your relationship.

• Take a step back and look at it from your partner’s perspective. How would you feel if your partner was constantly demanding you do things? On the other hand, how would you feel if your partner never did anything without being told to do it first? It goes both ways.

• If you are the one that usually nags, recognize that you are asking for something. Use an ‘I’ statement versus a ‘you’ statement. Say “I would really like for you to pay the bill on time” instead of “You never pay the bill on time.”

• Voice to your partner why your request is important to you. “I worry about our financial situation when you pay the bill late. We cannot afford late fees.”

• Keep your expectations realistic and appropriate. Does the chore really have to be done immediately?

• Set a timeframe. Ask your partner as to when you can expect for him/her to finish the task. Let him/her tell you when they will be able to realistically get it done.

• If you are the naggee, respond clearly to your partner’s request. Tell your partner when you realistically think you can have the request done by. Then make sure you keep your word.

• Consider alternative solutions. It might be worth it just to hire someone else to do it versus getting in an argument with your partner. Some arguments just aren’t worth it!

XO,
Allie

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