Healing & Mending Your Broken Relationship After Discovering An Affair

3/8/12

Recovering after discovering an affair is going to be difficult. It will take a continuous and ongoing effort from both you and your partner to heal a marriage or relationship after an affair has been revealed. If you and your partner both want to save the marriage or relationship, consider these steps to promote healing and recovery:

• Take responsibility if you were the one that cheated. End the affair and any and all interaction and communication with the other person. You need to accountable for your actions.

• Be honest. The initial shock will be hard but once it’s over, discuss openly and honestly what happened. It’s going to be difficult to talk or hear about the affair but it’s a necessary step.

• Recognize that it will take time, energy and commitment to heal and recover the marriage or relationship from both partners. It is not going to happen overnight. It will be a long and difficult process sorting out what happened, why, and whether your relationship can heal from it.

• Consult a marriage or relationship counselor. Get help from a licensed counselor that is experienced in dealing with infidelity. It can help you put the affair into perspective, identify issues that may have contributed to the affair, learn how to rebuild and strengthen your relationship, and save the relationship, provided that is the mutual goal.

• Gain trust back. Going to counseling together is a way to confirm your commitment to the marriage or relationship. It will help to prevent secrecy from continuing to harm your relationship. If you are the cheater, you may be ready to move forward and put the affair behind you but it is important to let your partner recover at his or her pace.

• Forgive. Infidelity is devastating and heartbreaking. It will be difficult to forgive but it may become easier over time.

It’s important to note that not every marriage or relationship can or should be saved. Sometimes the damage is done and there is nothing that can be done to reconcile the relationship. But if you and your partner are both committed to recovering and rebuilding your relationship, your partnership may end up being stronger than it’s ever been.

XO,
Allie

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