#4 - Isn’t As Affectionate Anymore
So you pretty much have no sex life, your partner hardly ever touches you anymore; sound like your life? You might be with a cheater.
People release a hormone called Oxytocin when they touch someone and it is a safe, welcomed, and pleasant touch. This hormone makes people feel good. So try initiating the touching and touch them. Maybe they are always the one initiating physical contact and they want some love from you. Give them a long hug and kiss. See how they react. If they pull away and are not interested in hugging and kissing you, I would definitely read on to my next tip.
Start going to work events with your partner. 56% of people cheat with their coworkers. It’s the only other place where they spend a lot of time at, besides home (or school, if applicable). You can check out the people your partner works with. Some of your partner’s coworkers may even drop hints at what your partner is up to when you’re not around. Try to friend some of his coworkers so you can get the inside scoop on what’s going on when your partner’s at work because if your partner is cheating on you, there is a strong possibility they are cheating on you with a coworker.
The same goes for friends. Start hanging out with your partner and his/her social group. If your partner isn’t cheating on you with a coworker, they are probably cheating on you with someone they hang out with. Again, same goes for the social group, friend one or a few of your partner’s friends. You might be able to get some information out of them.
Cheaters always leave a trail. You just have to find it, or in this case, someone that knows the truth about what your partner is doing when you aren’t around.
XO,
Allie
My ex-husband and I divorced because of his crack/alcohol addiction nine years ago. One year ago, we got back together because he went through detox and rehab…supposedly drug free now. I caught him cheating during our first months back together and he said that it was strings that he was having a hard time cutting. She was saying that she was pregnant and when the truth came out, she wasn’t. He promised that he would not cheat again but now I am not sure if I am believing it. Some of his actions (text messaging, facebook messages, taking the phone into the bathroom, etc) lead me to believe that he is either cheating again or back on drugs. He has begun to hang out with some of the same guys that he hung out with when he was addicted before. When I ask him if he is cheating or doing drugs, of course he tells me no. It could be that I just don’t trust him but it could also be that he is hiding something. I am just wanting to know which so that I can decide whether I want to hang around and marry him again or if I want to let it all go for good. We have a set of thirteen year old twins so I would be more apt to suggest counseling for us that just call it quits immediately.
I would simply like to know and the sooner the better.
Thank you.
Kiki, this does not normally get better. You already know the truth. Go with your gut. Your twins will not be harmed by the fact that he is not there. Trust me, if you stay with him and he is doing what he does – the twins will start to see/feel it also. I left my ex because my children would not have respected me for staying with someone who did not respect me – father or not – or they conform and treat their significant others the same because they buy into his actions!
Save yourself while you are young because it only get harder looking later!
From the first day my fiance met and we were always so close, we did practically everything together. My fiance would come up to my job at every break I had and lunch break on his days off work. After I was about 6 months pregnant he had friended this guy at work and wanted to hang out with him more and more. Well they had went out one night and didnt get home till 2am, so I asked when he got home what they did and he told me. I saw the next day that he was deleting a womans name out of his call log and I asked who it was and he told me it was a guy friend he met through his coworker. Well it didnt seem right when he told me so I explained to him that it was how you spell a womans name, (not that I was accusing) well he got slightly defensive and said it was a guy so I just left it at that but it still didnt feel right to me. I tried to explain to him that it didnt feel right and I asked if it was a woman and he still said it was a guy. Well the feeling went on about a week and so I took it apon myself to look in his phone and get the number and I called, it was a woman and I questioned her but she says she was gay. My fiance also said she was gay but why hide it? The only tine they would talk was when he was away from home or before he got home. My fiance did have a phone under my name so I seen who he called and he got mad and got a new contract for himself so I couldnt see. Since he has had that phone he has always took it to the bathroom with him and sleeps with it under his pillow and also had a pattern lock on it. I also made him an email which he did not care if I did. I had went into his email after all this started happening and I found that he had purchased male enhancement pills and just last month I saw that through his email he (or someone) was talking to a female for a one night stand. I ask him about it and he says he let someone at work use his email but he gets mad at me if I was to look in his email without asking. I do confront him that I went into his email, both times. I am so confused about what is going on and I have asked everyone around for advice but all they say is to leave him. I cant do that unless I have proof. He thinks I’m crazy but when you’ve been lied to your face about suspicious things its hard to believe things. I really need help because to this day he says he has done nothing wrong. He deleted his facebook also, he only has emails so I have no way of knowing anything anymore.
He’s lying. Trust me!!! He’s lying. Start. yr own investigation. But never let him know u suspect wait until u have proof. A cheater will never admit to it.”
my huband almost a month ago got out of jail, and about two weeks after that he got up to get ready for work and asked me to check what time it was on his phone and then i snooped around and found a video on his phone of a girl naked ,showing everything. and when i confronted him about it, he said he didnt know that was on his phone , and i said “how didnt you know this was on your phone” ,and he said cuz he lets his friends borrow his phone , long story short he swore on my life and my daughters life that he wasnt lying and he didnt know about the video……..so now its Nov. 13 ,2011 , and i just thought about it and started putting the pieces together and he just called me and i asked him was he telling the truth , and he seemed hesitant and said no he wasnt lying and then he came out and said it , yes he lied and knew about the video the whole time. his excuse was he went to the bathroom while his friends had his phone and when he came to see what they were looking at ,he said they were making fun of the girl on the video (which i think is bullshit). but he never deleted the video even though he said he didnt care for the video……and he said he didnt want to tell me the truth cuz he didnt want me to get mad. (well KARMAS a *****)
now im starting to get the feeling hes cheated or hes hiding more, cuz if he can lie about something so dumb then he can lie about anything ,right?
so the other day we made love and after i got intobednd told him to snuggle with me, and he got mad and said NO JUST GO TO SLEEP, and i asked him what was wrong , and he said IF YOUR NOT GUILTY THEN GO TO SLEEP. so i just let him be not knowing y he was mad. so the other night we made love again and i told him i wanted to give him oral and he said ” NO , NO , NO , I JUST WANT YOU TO RIDE ME” which is really strange for me since he NEVER says no to a bj….. do u think hes hiding something or has he cheated?
Well to me it sounds like he has cheated on you with someone else cause i never knew a guy who does not want oral from a woman because women have found out that their man is cheating by the smell of their dick or if they are wearing perfume that is not yours so if he does not want oral from you then he is hiding something and has cheated on you maybe his dick smells like another woman and does not want you to find out about it by smelling him when you give him oral so that is my opinion on it
i would say maybe getting hi if he uses drugs any kind of drugs especially X pills are Meth anything else they aint never coming home so i would look into the drug thing first just a thought before anything else
I think my babys dads cheatting on me because he always hides who calls him,when i found a text on his phone it said my “girl” then i keep finding marks on his back and neck and glitter that is not from me.
I dont know what to do.i have a dream every nightabout him cheatting.
Leave him and move on….he does not respect you and thinks that you are a fool.
wow i dont see marks but girl i do have those dreams that is y i am reading these comments now we shall find out we always do and Karma is a BEEEEEP
Hey girl, im in the same boat. I dont see marks on my man but even his friends think my mans acting foul..
Girl, im in a similar boat. I have been with my man for 6 years and he is always deleting texts, he never tells me when he works till last minute, and even all his friends tell me they think hes cheating.. Im tired of these men out here thinking we females are fools!
Yeah I noticed that same thing with my kids dad. He would go to bed with his phone under the pillow every night like Wow its this serious. I have went through the phone a few times and have seen messages he has sent to women calling them boo and bae. Sending and receiving pictures. It makes me so mad but when we talk about it he would say that they are just friends. I don’t send any of my friends pictures like that. He wont leave. Im tired just don’t know what to do.
No doubt about it he is cheating and he dont give a damn about you or either he does and jus wants to be a hoe cause u do have those too thats why I jus say f*** a n**** they aint shit all they do is lie so its up to u to be the smart one or to be the little dumb blind blonde that cnt see that he doesnt give a got damn
i met a woman sometime ago this year, ive been faithful, i began to grow suspicious, if another guy came around she would turn her body and stare,eyes would lite up . sometimes lite touching as if shes happy to see them, men can tell when a girl is interested. pretty much lately i noticed her work patterns are changing and not to mention her attitude. ive always felt my instincts kick in, almost as i could never trust her from the day i met her.. once i gather my proof she is gonna come home to a empty home…i deserve better.
I agree with you, Jack but you already know!
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 6 years and we have 2 children together. He does not go out a lot but he always seems so suspocious. We do have sex quite a lot but its not romantic and it feels like I’m always making the first move. I am very subconcious about myself and even tho he tells me I’m fine and beautiful it feels like a lie. I really think he has the hots for my bestfriend because let’s face it she is much more hotter than me… He seems to always be picking a fight too. I don’t no if this is signs of cheating but he’s the only guy I’ve EVER been with. What should I do….
First of all never say anyone is hotter than yourself.And second if he’s looking at your friend he’s a loser anyway let him go.
Look I have been married to my wife for almost ten years and i am the same way.I am not cheating, but I think she is. That is the reason I act the way I do.Do you have new guy friends, or care more about time with your friends than him? when was the last time you gave him attention?
I have this girl I been with for 3 months and I ask her to merry me and she said yes since then she don’t answer my texts or call. I wounded if she is cheating on me or not. I really love this girl. Everytime I ask if i cane come see her or if can come see me and she say yes but Everytime I asked her if she on her way she say yes but she don’t show up at all. Please let me know what to do thank you.
3 months was way too quick for an engagment shes probably scared now or she really does have something to hide. confront her about it and move on. God bless you
I been with my boyfriend for 3 years. i love him and all but i just cant trust him. He has lied to me before and i feel like he still dose . His always on him phone and he has 2 phone ,he dose not want to give me the number to one of them and his always putting excuses why his always coming home late. He claims to be with his kids. I dont know what to do right know im about to have my 1st baby with him. can u please give me some advice… thanks
you need to think about your baby and whether or not your baby deserves to grow up in this type of environment with that type of a rolemodel
You girls on here who all say he’s put a lock on his phone he doesn’t want me doing this or doing that. I Can’t get into his e-mail without permission, and so on and so on. I mean why do you even have to get on here and ask people you don’t know if he’s cheating. You know he’s cheating you just dont want to admit it to yourselves. I have been married ten years and if my husband did any of those things like sleep with his cell phone under his pillow, that would be it. Don’t be with people who are gonna treat you like that, I love my husband so much and he loves me and I couldn’t imagine staying with him if he was to do all those things. Open your eyes girls, your smarter than that.
My husband cheated on me and a friend told me and when I asked him about it he said she was lieing and he denied all of it and lied to my face about it what can I do to find out the truth from him
LEAVE HIM! especially if you have kids with him! that’ll teach him a lesson either shape or be gone
MY MOTHER BOYFRIEND ALLWAYS ON THE PHONE HE GOES OUT SIDE FOR HRS ON THE PHONE HE WORKS OUT OF COUNTY AND SOMETIME NEVER COME HOME ON THE WEEKENDS.. THE ALL THE WOMENS ON FACEBOOK,MOCOSPACE,AIRG ALWAYS TELLING MY MOTHER THAT THEY BEEN WITH HIM AND HE GIVES THEM MONEY. MY OLDER SISTER SAW HIM AT A BUFFET PLACE AND MYMOTHER DIDDENT BELIVE HER AND MY ONE OF MY MOM FRIEND SAW HIM AT 2 DIFFRENT CLUBS WITH 2 DIFFERNT WOMEN AND SHE DONT BELIVE THEM I KEEP TELLING HER HE CHEATING ON HER BUT SHE KEEPS DENYING HE ANIT WHAT DO YOU THINK ???
the man is obviously cheating. for some reason your mother is in denial or just allowing it to happen
My wife waxed and didn’t let me have sex with her fore more than 8 weeks! She is cheating and we ar going to divorce soon. Am glad I told her she cheated me on her face!
my husband cheated on me with his co-worker at his job see I had a feeling hat was goin on the whole time he will go to work earlie than usauall.then he had a ipod that had free texting on it wish with that is were he will be texting his mistress so lodays when you have a feeling about please go with you’re instict 99/percent of the times you are right ..but is better to find out know than later ..is not easy when you find out but know that you dereaved the best weather is a man or a women ..we need to value our self ..
I have a girlfriend I’ve been with for 4 months things were great between us then she started taking to this other man she says nothing is going on between them but when I was at work she called him and now has been ignoring me yet she still says she loves me I don’t know what to do
me and my boyfriend have been together for about 6 months. At the beginning everything was peachy, in some ways it still is. We moved in together kinda fast but it felt right so we went with it. Didnt have sex until we were actually a couple. I think is wrong to do it otherwize. Point being, we have a pretty good sex life.. every day actually. When i first moved in i noticed girl posters and his ex’s pictures on the wall which he refuses to take down!! and it pisses me off! He says when we sign our new lease together into the new appt he wont put them up! Supposably.. So here’s the thing, we have a good sex life but I HAVE BEEN LOOKING THROUGH THE COMPUTER HISTORY EVERYDAY.. AND ITS “Anal sex” bull shit.. quit often. He knows that bothers me! i dont mind it porn when we’re together but.. by him self, AND ANAL?? Its degrating to me. And it makes me feel like im not doing things right.. Im not sure if its my past insecurities acting up or if im onto something. but it sure doesn’t help that both of his friends are complete man whores.. and this i know because i’ve met multiple girls. im afraid that they’ll incourage him to do what they are doing… What should i do ??
i have been dating a woman for 8 months. at first everything was fine but lately she has been very close to cell phone, puts the lock on, aside from that i think that there may be a second prepaid cell phone for discretion. i have found cigarette butts in the outside ash can when no smokers have been over and have previously covered the old butts. neither of us smoke but others who visit do. she insists that wind uncovered them but old ashes harden up good. have found hair of wrong color in bathroom basin and glitter that was unexplained. she had her daughter and boyfriend over, the wood stove is in living room outside our bedroom. i was supposed to be gone for work but stayed late, i exited the bedroom and found boyfriend drying himself nude outside of bedroom door and he was clanking on wood stove making noise. when i went out he claimed that he thought we were both gone, but my woman had been coughing loudly in sleep and he must have heard her. she just said he is dumb as a rock and don’t think anything of it.
The old pre paid phone trick is pretty common. I know this chick who was cheating on her husband & she & her boyfriend both had secret pre paid phone. Oh & I’m a bit curious as to what he was banging on the wood stove. Also where was her daughter while the boyfriend was running around the house in the nude?
My Fiancé and I are lesbians and I have a very strong feeling she’s cheating – this feeling of suspicion has been for almost a year but I can’t put my hands on her to prove it, I moved here to be with her, ALL of her family is here and they all hate me. So asking them isn’t an option. EVERYTIME since her mother and I have stopped speaking when she goes over there she doesn’t call me, respond to my texts or answer my calls, always with a new excuse as to why. Even though now she has a new phone. Example – she left last night to go to her moms house, was there for about 3 ½ hours, didn’t hear from her until she was on her way to Wal-Mart (AFTER SHE LEFT HER MOMS) she said her phone was dead and she’s calling me from the car now on the car charger and this is EVERYTIME. But when she came home she said that she stopped at Wal-Mart and was looking for medicine for her mom and that was it – covered her head and went to sleep. This morning she sneaks out of bed, takes the dogs out and sneaks to call somebody (she does this a lot too) then she comes back to tell me that she’s going to get the medicine and take it to her moms. However, she left her wallet with credit cards and money at home.
I think anything that’s going on is going on at her moms house. Or her mom has a lot to do with it, her mom is STILL in communication with my fiancé’s ex.
I caught my husband on my bed with another woman when I was pregnant with out 3rd child.I left him,then few months later we got back together.After I gave birth I found a phone # in his wallet after he came back from the club.Then recently I went thru my home phone call logs and found out that he’s been calling my brother’s wife’s work and talking for hours and hours.I confronted him about it and he denied.Up until now he’s still hasn’t admitted.I don’t know what to do..It hurts really bad.der wer few incidents where my brother found out that he’s wife lied to him about being @ work..same times my husband was also gone.I don’t know what to do.I really want to leave,but I need help in doing so..I need advice.:(
My fiance and I had a tough time our first year of living together. He accepted a job in Philadelphia, being gone all week and home on the weekends. During his time home, he never wanted to be intimate. I thought it was me so I stopped eating and got down to a size 0. After leaving his Google voice up, I read some messages and discovered that he was messaging multiple women. One woman was complaining about not having gas money to visit his hotel room so he wired money. At this time, I was 4 months pregnant with our son. He came home permanently and promised it would never happen again. In October of 2011, I discovered he met with his ex at her place of employment and took her behind the building. He confessed to meeting her but nothing happened because he loves me. I don’t know what to do. I love him and I want our son raised with us both. He deserves that so much.
I have been married for almost a year and about half way into our marriage i had to move 2 states away to provide for our family (my Wife and our Son) sense i have moved up here i know she has cheated on me with her Ex once already she has told me so but im affraid she is cheating again not with him but in general our son was born in febuary and this happened just before he was born but now she is texting and talking to me less and less im affraid that its because there is someone else here are the signs please tell me what is going on or if im over reacting
1) Texting and conversating less and less.
2) doesnt send or even want to send pictures of herself (fully clothed) or our son when she used to send them almost every day.
3) Wont bring our son up here to see me when she comes up (Says she needs a brake and she wants me to herself)
4) gets upset or avoids the conversation when asked whats she doing or where shes at when just trying to start a conversation.
please help me there are the main reasons but there are a few smaller ones to i hope im over reacting but i need to know please tell me
I’m very confused on what i should do. Ive been in an on/off relationship for 7yrs & i have a 4yr old daughter with this man. He’s cheated on me twice before after i found sexting messges frm another woman and another time he had sex with his co worker and contracted an std which he passed onto me. Luckly, it was not permanent. After all this ive forgiven him & tried to make us work. Problem i cant trust him & i always suspect him of cheating. He locks his phone with a pattern lock and often has it with him all the time. He has a facebook accnt but his set it to private. He never calls me and i just have that feeling there is someone else. He denies it and tells me “this ? Again” We fight all the time and he says i complaint to much. Should i continue being with him? Should i even bother to try anymore? Im afraid that no one will want me and that my daughter will grow up confused on why her dad and i weee never married. If anything else he’s unemloyed yet still goes out to bars/clubs with his single friends. I know this decision wouldnt be so hard if i didnt love him so much.
Lol sack’s a funny word