Can a Relationship Survive an Affair?

A recent U.S. survey has found some very interesting statistics on cheating and divorce rates. Infidelity is a leading cause of break-ups but only 19% of people, who were cheated on, ended the relationship right after finding out. 22% eventually ended the relationship because they couldn’t get over the betrayal.

This means that 78% of these couples stayed together after finding out about an affair! That’s huge! It seems that more and more people are staying together after finding out about an affair.

How Can You Survive an Affair and Regain Trust?

Every relationship is complicated and every relationship is completely different. Just because another couple has broken up over infidelity, doesn’t mean that it will be that easy for you to end the relationship because of an affair. You may have children involved, your partner may have just made a really terrible mistake, maybe your relationship hit a rough patch, etc. The list goes on and on.

There are three ways to know if you can survive the affair and regain trust in your partner.

1. Your partner has cut off all contact with the other person.

If you and your partner are going to try to work through an affair, first and foremost, they MUST cut off ALL contact with the other person. The only way to regain trust in the relationship is to have a completely open and honest relationship. If the lover tries to contact your partner, your partner should let you know so you two can discuss what is going to be done about it. There must be complete transparency in the relationship from this point forward. If your partner can agree to that, it is a very good indication that you CAN make the relationship work.

2. Your partner shows deep regret.

If your partner takes full responsibility and is deeply sorry, it is a good sign that the relationship can work and you can begin the healing process. Many times, the cheater uses the affair as a way out of the relationship but if they are deeply regretful and wanting to work on the relationship, this is a good sign. Your partner MUST show real pain and guilt about their betrayal because if they don’t, you are probably better off ending the relationship.

3. Your partner gives you all the details of the affair.

If you’ve been cheated on, you probably have a million questions, scenarios and images running around in your head as to what exactly happened. This can literally drive you crazy. In order to heal and move on from the affair, your partner needs to give you details about the affair. Now, I don’t mean ALL of the sexual details because there are some things that you just don’t need to know but your partner needs to answer your questions so that you can begin to heal. Most of the time, the images and scenarios in your head are much worse than what actually happened. If your partner is willing to answer your questions and give you details, this is a great sign that your relationship can survive the infidelity.

Getting through infidelity while staying with your partner is difficult and it will be quite the healing process. But it IS possible to get over an affair and have an even stronger relationship afterwards. Have you ever been cheated on and stayed with your partner after finding out? How did you survive the betrayal? Tell me your story by commenting below!

XO,
Allie


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